At www.goingchurching.com, we strive to bring a fair and balanced approach to the world in which we live. Religion, being a major part of history, should be analyzed, criticized and exposed on all levels. Throughout the history of our existence, mankind has created over 2800 different gods and deities. With this in mind, we have developed a new feature and category for our readers, entitled “Defunct Deities.” The purpose of this feature is to show just how much human history has relied on the presence of symbols of worship, to provide answers for the unexplained. As you read about the many fallen gods that we present, feel free to ask yourself, “how is it that the gods of modern religion are really any different in their structure and purpose, than the gods of the past?”
Today’s defunct deity is the Celtic god of oak trees, named Robur, sometimes referred to as the “forest king.” And that’s it really. Robur is just the boss of all the oak trees on the planet. If you would like to read more on the Oak tree and it’s lore, check out this site. When I first came across Robur, I was quick to dismiss him as a very small, unimportant deity inside of a very, very large pantheon. But as the days went by, Robur stayed on my mind. It was as if Robur had found his way into my soul, and filled a tree-shaped hole in my heart. What was it about this ancient, leafy deity that I just couldn’t get past? Then it hit me. Robur actually plays a major role in modern religion and Christianity especially. ROBUR KILLED JESUS!!!!!!
So why would Robur kill Jesus you ask? Well, the tale of Robur is somewhat of a Cinderella story.
Once upon a time, in a land called Gaul, there were 3 wicked tree step-gods, and they totally made Robur do all the chores. Abellio was the god of apple trees, and would hold it over Robur’s head all the time, that apples were way cooler than acorns. “My delicious fruit,” he would say, “is sweet and juicy.” “Everyone loves me!” Then there was Fagus, the god of beech trees. While Robur had to depend on his acorns rolling down hills and travelling by way of squirrel for seed disbursement, Fagus’s light weight catkins could be carried on the wind, ensuring a higher place in the evolutionary scale. Fagus never let Robur live this down. Finally, there was Buxenus, the god of the box tree. While Buxenus’s dense wood was valued for carving, his foliage was also favored for hedges in formal gardens. In the eyes of Buxenus, Robur was much too tall, and his bark was much too jagged. Even the mere sight of Robur would offend Buxenus’s vain senses.
For years Robur stayed meek and dutiful, as his wicked step-gods ordered him around. He would slave for his brothers, day-in and day-out, with not a single word of contempt, for Robur knew that one-day, his potential would come to fruition, and his brothers would see, that he was not the black sheep of the forest. And soon, Robur got his chance. All throughout the land a search had been issued for a wood so strong, that it could kill a man claiming to be the “one” god. “But an apple tree is already responsible for the fall of man and eternal punishment by hellfire, I couldn’t possibly kill the one god, “ said Abellio. Fagus must have been busy or something, because I mean, beech wood would have been sufficient and would have weathered well, but um, moving on. Buxenus wasn’t really even a tree, so to speak. He was more of a shrubbery… Ni, Ni! And so Robur took his place as the tree that would kill god.
That’s right Zarathustra, God is dead. I guess mankind will have to fall upon their own reason and virtue to establish a system of morality that is just and universal.
I give Robur, and his legend 
5 halos. Why 5? Because he looks hot in glass slippers.
