April 2008


3 Halos

Pray-in at S.F. gas station asks God to lower prices.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ridiculous!

If I were the station attendant at that San Francisco Chevron, I would have went outside and raised the price, just to piss them off! Also, most gas stations have signs posted that prohibit loitering. Crazy Christians breaking the law, just so they can show everyone how ineffective their god really is! Hilarious!


4 Halos

In a recent Q&A on Christianpost.com, Billy Graham was asked if people will get bored in Heaven.

Spoken in true old, religious grandpa form, Billy replied that we won’t be bored, experience pain, disappointment or sorrow in Heaven. After explaining the holy removal of these elements of human suffering, Graham went on to say that although we will be removed from boredom, that we will, in fact, have work to do while housed in our eternal reward. What is this work you ask? Why, servitude of course!

Yes friends, I tell you now, there will be a day! Oh how glorious it will be when our souls rise from this doomed, tormented flesh and appear, transformed into the glory of god, bowing and scraping and obeying a king for eternity. Oh what freedom we find in the Lord! Oh what a blessing it will be to spend the rest of limitless time in a state of praise and adoration for a ruler, that will never get dull!

I mean really Christianity. The two choices you are going to give me are:

A) Salvation and acceptance into Heaven where I will have my mind wiped and reprogrammed to believe that eternity in servitude is blissful.

B) Burning in hell forever.

These aren’t options. You mean to tell me that all this time, your god made mankind with all of the human history of natural disaster, genocide, murder, rape, theft, hunger, and all of the other various forms of suffering so that some of us could come to Heaven to serve and worship him forever, while others get to burn in the eternal damnation of ever-burning hellfire? It is completely counter-intuitive for you people to believe in this bullshit so fervently. You think this type of thing makes your god loving? You think that this is your god’s way of showing mercy? Your god is a dictator. Your god is setup to be your ruler. The freewill that you all so adamantly stand up for, as a gift from your god, will be given back in an instant upon entering your heaven.

The redefinition of terms in Christianity, such as love, mercy, grace and freewill is astounding. It is sad that Christians have tricked and convinced themselves that these concepts are real, and that ultimately, it will be greater than anything they could ever imagine.

Well, I can imagine something better! How about a peaceful death, where I don’t have to spend eternity kissing ass to an unjust, supposedly omnipotent tyrant, who willfully allowed generation after generation of his “children” to suffer some of the most horrible things anyone could imagine, just so many of them could find out after death that they didn’t say the right prayer, and now have to spend eternity burning in hell because they were condemned as sinners.

I just can’t believe that Christians are ready and willing to accept this as truth. Of course, many of them remove these types of thoughts to the back of their minds and focus on how Jesus loves everyone SO MUCH, but this is the reality of Christianity. This is the truth of America’s favorite religion.

In closing, I’d like to leave you all with a quote by Mark Twain.

“Singing hymns and waving palm branches through all eternity is pretty when you
hear about it in the pulpit, but it’s as poor a way to put in valuable time
as a body could contrive.”


5 Halos

Open Letter to a Victim of Ben Stein’s Lying Propaganda.
by Richard Dawkins

Shame on the creators and producers of “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed,” for their blatant and obvious lies. Creationist filth.


3 Halos

Pro-Family Groups Lobby Marriott for Porn-Free Rooms

Daniel Weiss, senior analyst for media and sexuality at Focus on the Family told Cybercast News Service that he hopes “Marriott takes a responsible corporate position on this and ceases offering that kind of material in their chains.” A responsible corporate position would be to provide a wide range of services to their customers. Adult entertainment is not illegal and having the option to view fee-based, adult content in the privacy of your hotel room does nothing to affect the “well-being of children and families.”

Do not be fooled. The 47 “pro-family” groups that sent this complaint letter to Marriot’s chairman and CEO are not “pro-family.” This is a shallow front for a Christian-based moral agenda.

Christians, listen up. You can sit in your homes, with your families and teach, preach and enforce any form of morality you like, as long as it is legal. Forcing your version of morality on the rest of the world is wrong. Viewing pornography is not illegal, and it isn’t your place to deem it immoral. All you crazy, zealot Christians have to do, if you find porn available on your hotel television, is choose to NOT purchase it. Period! What right do you feel you have to limit the choices available for the rest of us. We are consumers, just like you, and some of us enjoy adult entertainment.

I’m getting really tired of faith-based groups rallying together to force and enforce a pseudo morality on the world. If I were to wager a prophecy, I’d say that within the next few years, you’ll hear of one or more of the representatives from one or more of these groups on the evening news, being brought up on charges for buying drugs, mismanagement of funds, or child molestation. Just wait for it. These “family values” groups and their fake constructs of morality make me sick. These are the same groups of people who coerce the brainless masses into “voting their faith,” or convince unqualified, 12th grade educated moms to home school their kids so that they won’t have their little minds clouded by false theories of science’s big bang-evolved, amoeba-slime-fish-monkey-men.

If this anti-pornography push goes through, you can bet your sweet ass that the mini-bar will be next.

Unbelievable.


4 Halos
You Bunch of Brown Nosers!
In a recent Harris Poll, 2,513 U.S. adults were surveyed online as to their “favorite book of all time.” Here are the results in order of ranking:

1. The Bible - God.
2. Gone With the Wind - Margaret Mitchell
3. Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
4. Harry Potter (series) - J.K. Rowling
5. The Stand - Stephen King
6. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
7. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
8. Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
9. Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand
10. Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger

Now, let’s take a critical look at this list together. What can we gather?

A) The American reading public doesn’t like to fall very far from jr. high / high school summer reading lists.

Is it just me, or does this survey seem dedicated solely to the Sunday school attending, religious conspiracy nut, GED recipient demographic? I mean, Dan Brown got two spots on this list and both of them are higher than Ayn Rand and J.D. Salinger! Seriously America, it’s time to move to the grown-up section of the library. I know there aren’t as many picture books, but at least the card catalog is computerized now. You don’t even have to go through the learning curve for the dewey decimal system anymore!

Just for the record, Harry Potter is a children’s book.

B) Americans don’t like non-fiction, period.

Every single book on this list is a work of fiction! We obviously don’t enjoy reading information in this country. When we turn off our television sets, we demand entertainment from our printed media. And yes Todd Friel, the bible is fiction. It includes talking snakes, burning bushes and zombies. Fiction.

C) Americans only like books they can buy in an airport bookstore.

Really, this list reads like the “What’s Hot” kiosque in the front of your local Barnes and Noble. I think we can safely say that if a book isn’t trendy with a movie deal already in the works, then America doesn’t like it. A strange thing to notice is while many of the books on this list are products of chic, “gotta have’s,” not a single one shows up on Oprah’s book list. Obviously the people included in this survey didn’t want to look completely shallow. That’s why they threw Salinger and Rand in there, so that they could look like intellectuals. These are probably the same people that like to sit for hours upon hours at Starbucks so that everyone can see how cool they look with their messy (yet product filled) hair and macbook airs.

D) Americans like to ass-kiss their way into Heaven.

Ok. The Bible is not America’s favorite book. This is just a fucking lie. Let’s pick 2,513 random American houses and see where their bibles are located. I’ll put a hundred dollars that in each and every house, you will find the bible propping up a coffee table, gathering dust on a shelf next to Jenga and Scattegories, or sitting in the floor board of the family minivan from last Christmas. Take into account this is minus the 1 or 2 religious fanatics that paid extra to have their name inscribed in gold on the front cover. Then you will find their bookmarked and overly-highlighted copies placed firmly on their bedside tables, where they read a chapter or two every night to ease their fears of living in a doomed, sinful world of pinko-commie, drug-using, homosexual, moral-relativist, democrats. The only reason the bible is listed as America’s #1 favorite book is because people are afraid that God is going to get pissed that he’s not the best-selling author in the universe and damn them all to hell. Honestly, Dianetics reads better than the bible (ew burn!). If I were god’s editor I would have told him that people just weren’t going to jump on the “promoting mass genocide and eternal damnation” band wagon.

And well, I guess I would have been wrong.